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Review: Sportsheets Neck and Wrist Restraints

March 18, 2011

Often, the type of restraints I enjoy are of the extreme variety- handcuffs, chains, leather strapping, etc. However, this isn’t the case for all of my partners. Having variety in the heat of the moment is nice, which is why I was really excited about reviewing Sportsheet’s Neck and Wrist Restraints.

The set consists of three soft cuffs, one larger which is intended to for the wearer’s neck and two smaller for the wrists. The cuffs are lined in a flexible neoprene which is about half an inch wider on each side than the nylon strap which provides the strength to the cuffs. They easily velcro shut. The neck cuff has a long nylon strip which extends perpendicularly and is bordered with several sets of D-rings. Basic, but nice. Now, it’s the hardware that I found a need to swap out. The set up comes with only one clip and no matter how I tried, I couldn’t find a way to restrain someone with the neck piece and both wrist cuffs using only one clip. What worked for me was substituting the clip the set came with a few of my own clips. I chose something like this. You could also use a set of small Master locks if you were looking for something a little more secure if you have an amateur escape artist on your hands. Because of the construction, this isn’t a set you’d want to use with heavy resistance play, suspension, or anything that would place more than a moderate amount of stress on the cuffs. The velcro, keyright style O-rings, and the material I doubt would hold up. That being said, this is a GREAT set for someone new to bondage and restraint because of the velcro closures. Plus, the material is machine washable which means you can easily clean the set between uses.

My challenge to myself was to find a way to have a really hot, kinky scene with the neck and wrist restraints. What this meant was that I quickly found a need for finding a play partner who would appreciate less severe restraint scenarios. So, I threw out an offer on Fetlife and wound up having an amazing scene with an old flame (who has since found her way back into my life, but that’s another story). We planned our scene on the night of a big house party that boasts a very large and impressive dungeon in their basement. The place space was already pretty full so we took up the only free corner. I ended up restraining her with her arms behind her back in the sportsheets set and proceeded to make her balance while riding my leg (I’d brought along my favorite thigh harness!) as waves of orgasms hit. It was hot. Mmmm… predicament sex. Then lots of hot kick fucking, grinding, forced exhibitionism and forced orgasms commenced. What was really nice, though, was that she had a sense of security with the set. If she really wanted, she could have taken them off herself and gotten out of the situation. Something that I find very enticing when playing with someone for the first few times out at a party or even when first trying bondage and restraint in the bedroom.

While they’re great for a first piece, the machine washable materials and easy modifications have kept them in my toy box even though I usually play with more “heavy duty” restraints. Want a set of your own? Head on over to Sextoy.com!

Sportsheets Neck and Wrist RestraintsBondage, Fetish & Kink • Sex Toys

An end.

March 7, 2011

Today was one of the most difficult days I’ve had in a long time. My relationship with “The Girl Who Thought To Bring Me A Hubcap” is over. I’ve dealt with break ups before. It took months of painful screaming matches before I found the strength to leave Vie. And I’ve written a bit about the ups and downs Mr. Rawr and I have had. There are examples from my vanilla dating life when I was younger as well. Despite how horrible some of those situations made me feel, this time around it feels worse.

I’ve been sitting in bed all day asking myself, “Why is that?”

The answer is sickeningly simple and yet had to be pointed out to me. She hit a trigger. She abandoned me. Multiple weeks of ignored calls/texts/emails, a relationship she didn’t bother to tell me about, and her own triggers regarding our relationship have left me sitting here wondering, “What did I do wrong and why don’t you love me?” A place I haven’t been in years and is really tough for me to handle on an emotional level.

The Redheaded Slut says each person makes you a little better for the person who will eventually come along.

Isz says it’s important to find partners who I can relate to well emotionally because that base reaction will define the relationship.

I know this, too, shall pass. I know that it was already hanging by a thread before I triggered. I’ve had doubts all along. It just hurts and I find myself having to keep reassuring my mind that no one else is leaving. My rescheduled date with Mr. Rawr should help. So should my date night with Isz this weekend. I suspect moving into my new studio this week will help me feel less alone too, with the new roommate the apartment at least won’t be so quiet.

Censored.

March 6, 2011

I haven’t been writing lately. It started as trying to spend my focus in the evening on my blog. It has turned into procrastinating because I feel like the things I really want to write about, I can’t. I am lost and have lost a bit of my confidence in my writing when I have voices in my head telling me that my subject matter or the direction of my discussion is inappropriate. So what do I do instead? I just don’t write. Which in itself is a bad thing. I’m feeling bottled up and quiet… a little meek and powerless. I’m spending my evening feeling sucky (about things that might not be appropriate to write about) and trying to think of ways to still write, be heard, be read and reclaim the power in my voice while still making responsible choices. I really don’t want this blog to lose it’s authentic voice. I really don’t want to abandon it for an anonymous side project. I really don’t like feeling censored. It took me two years to get my writing to a point where I was proud of it’s authenticity and the vulnerability I shared. That’s two years that I’m really struggling to hold on to right now…

I really miss you, my lovely pink blog/home,

❤ Evey

Stripper-bait.

February 14, 2011

Note: The new site is taking longer than usual and my writing is getting antsy.. So I’m going to start writing again off and on and keep you posted. 🙂

Friday the Drinking Buddy and I went out for what seems to be our usual pool/beer night and wound up at the strip club downtown. Apparently, this is what happens when he goes to buy a $5 sandwich at Subway, tries to pay with a $100 bill and ends up with a wallet full of ones. The multiple pitchers of beer probably had something to do with it too.

So, I’ve gotta say- I really haven’t been to many Strip Clubs. IT WAS OSSIM. My last two experiences were with an asexual ex-boyfriend who thought it would be sexy (and maybe get him in the mood?). Needless to say, I left turned on and we went home only for him to crawl in bed. It kind of tainted my whole evening, checking out naked women with someone who isn’t enjoying the same way you are is NO FUN.

This was not the case with Drinking Buddy.

I have to say, I am a sucker. I can forsee many more nights spend like last Friday dishing out the dollar bills. Why, you might ask? Well, I have a simple answer for you. Every single girl who was queer-friendly (as in actually paid attention to me instead of choosing to dance with the stair rail instead of taking MY dollar) were genuinely happy to have someone appreciating and looking to connect, even in a casual flirty way, rather than be oogled by the plethora of drunk douche bags.  And that made me feel good. Both to be getting attention and giving someone a positive interaction during their work night.

Lets set the scene, shall we?

This is what I wore that night. No wonder I got so much attention? They were groped, moter-boated, and oogled by every girl who came to chat with me. One even told me that if hers had looked like mine she wouldn’t have paid the $7k for her surgery! But then I met the ONE. She was gorgeous, curvy, with the most expressive face of any of the other girls working. She was a shameless flirt and after I told her I’d help distract her from the jerks who wouldn’t stop treating her like a piece of meat, she told me and the Drinking Buddy she’d rather spend the night just talking to us… so we helped her out and bought ourselves our first lap dances. She took our cherry, we took hers (she’d never danced for two people at once, she was nervous.. it was cute!) and we left happy campers, with a significant dent in our wallets.

“On a scale of 1 to whore, she’s definitely a 1!”

“You bring your titties, she’ll bring hers and fun will be had by all”

I woke up the next morning to a new fetish on fetlife started by the Drinking Buddy: “Using Evey as Stripper Bait.” 🙂

June 17, 2010: And then we kissed…

January 10, 2011

Update: I’m still here and still working on the new home for this blog. ETA is about 2 weeks, but we’ll see how much work I can cram in this next week. Until then, as promised, I’m republishing some of my favorite posts from the last two years. Originally posted here, this post is an amazing memory of the first real date with an amazing woman who I am lucky to be involved with. She also happens to be taking me out to see my favorite band preform a small, acoustic show tonight.. so while I’m off on a dream date, feel free to read about how I got myself into this. 😉

 

After dinner we had gone back upstairs to my room…

Sitting on my unmade bed making small talk, we knew it was time for her to leave, but were both fighting it. As we talked, about nothing particularly important, I noticed her slowly repositioning herself until, eventually, she was lounging on her side, head in hand. She contrasted beautifully against the black and white of the zebra print…

I felt it before I saw it- her hand slowly trailing up my arm. It was her way of asking. Reaching out to run my fingers through her hair, I engaged the situation but did not respond to the intended request. I needed to know she wanted it too before I could feel comfortable initiating. We lay there for a while, touching and looking, before giving in to the moment. Lips met, tongues danced, it was indulgent. Decadent. I wanted to stay there in bed, kissing for hours but it was late and she needed to be going.

Standing by the door, I watched as she put her heels back on and gathered her things. I watched her as she walked through the threshold of my studio where we lingered in the hall. I felt her as we kissed one last time before watching her look back at me and smile as she walked down the hall…

The woman who had thought to bring me a hubcap.

 

June 5, 2009: And going… and going… and…

January 5, 2011

What comes after Fucking? Why orgasms of course! A big part of reclaiming my sexuality was discovering what turns me on and opening myself up to receiving pleasure. Although the orgasm in question in this post no longer ranks on the top of my “Ever” list, it was the first of something amazing… enjoy!

Thursday night, I’m pretty sure I had the best orgasm of my life.

Okay, let me back up a bit. I think I’ve at least alluded to the fact that I’ve been having issues with orgasms for a while now. After breaking up with my last boyfriend, I was at the point where I rarely came during sex. It was definitely a bummer. My goal since ending things with him has been to get back to where I had been before I got broken, which is probably just after the break up with Evan. I’ve slowly been making progress, and I’ve been happy with how things have been working themselves out. For the last month, I’ve been able to get to that point about 75% of the time. In fact, I’ve even gotten a few steps ahead of myself in some regards.

Back to Thursday. I had hooked up with this guy and I was definitely in a more service-y mood to start off with, I think I spent a good amount of time engaged in one of my favorite sexual service activities and it was HOT. Fair to say, I definitely worked myself up to the point where my mind was turned on maybe more than my body, and I’m a wet one mind you. So I hop on top, really the only position I have ever been able to get off with g-spot stimulation in, and start to do my thing. At this point my mind just kind of starts to go. I probably helped that he was insanely hard, we’d hooked up before and I don’t know that I ever remember him being that long when I DT’d him. So when I came, it wasn’t the usual g-spot orgasm that I’ve become used to, it didn’t have the same release, I mean I still came really hard. Instead, it turned into this sensation much like the peak of my scenegasms and from there felt like peaks within peaks. Is this what multiple orgasms feel like? He hadn’t realized I’d came I don’t think, because I’m usually the kind of girl who slows down and starts convulsing after getting off, but since I was still riding him he thought I was still almost there. He offered encouragement and began whispering to me to come which was freaking hot to hear while I was experiencing wave after wave of really high peaks. The only thing is it didn’t feel like it was going to stop and I’d been going for a while. I asked him to pound me (definitely my favorite sexual activity.. really nothing is better in my opinion) and from there I finally calmed down and reverted back to my usual scenegasms. I’m fairly certain I now understand what Shanna means when she instigates her 20 minute rule. I wasn’t making any sense. It was just. Ya. Wow.

The thing is, it wasn’t about who I was fucking, it wasn’t about how I was fucking, it was about Me. I mean other factors definitely helped, but when it comes down to it, the experience was all my own and it wasn’t something that I think I emoted well enough to share, I’m not even sure he could feel a difference in my energy than any other night if he tried. It was mine and as egotistical as it sounds, I am proud of how far I’ve pushed myself to let down some of my walls. Ya it’s just sex, but it is also something I wasn’t even capable of 5 months ago. Just another one of those reminders that I’m not the person I was when I first entered the scene anymore, I’m growing into this new person and while she’s somewhat unknown to me at times, I’ve absolutely growing to love her.

July 12, 2009: I Like to Fuck!

January 3, 2011

Perhaps one of my favorite posts, this has always been one of “The Essentials”. Vocabulary can convey so much, whether you’re talking about identity and relationships or something less serious- like FUCKING.  (Original Post)

 

I know for a great many people, words like “fucking” and “sex” are interchangeable. I am not one of those people. In fact, for me, the difference between the two is similar to my generation’s view of the difference between “sex” and “making love”.

To Fuck.. I Fuck people I don’t know. I Fuck people I don’t know very well. I Fuck people I am involved with, but am not in any way committed to. Fucking is pure, raw, uncomplicated, and often times impersonal. When I Fuck it is rough and hard and painful (in the GOOD kind of way). Fucking is like getting pounded. Fast. Deep. God.. in the state of sexual frustration I’m currently experiencing, I’m not sure I should keep going haha. But I hope my point has been understood. For most instances, the first handful of interactions with me sexually WILL be Fucking. I’d like to quote Lady Gaga here: ” I won’t tell you that I love you, kiss or hug you, ’cause I’m bluffing”.

To have Sex.. This is a bit more personal. Not “oh my, I’m completely in love with you” shit. But still, much more connected than Fucking. I have sex with primary partners who I am serious about/committed to in some way or another. Sex is vulnerable, Sex is personal, Sex makes me forget sometimes that we’re two different people and that our bodies aren’t REALLY connected. Sex is where I let down my guards and submit to my partner rather that bottoming. Sex is when I can look you in the eyes while I’m cumming. The few partners who have made ME cum during penetration, THAT’s Sex. The few people I have been fluid bound to.. our first time after making that commitment- THAT was Sex. Sex for me isn’t always hard and fast. Sometimes it’s slow and, dare I say it, sensual. Sex is where there are those pauses in energy where things get so intense you have to kiss or pull them down onto your forehead or pull them down onto your chest.. mm.. Sex.

To Make Love.. This is the woo-woo stuff. I’ve made love to two partners in my life. It’s amazing stuff, but for me, and I’m presuming a vast majority of people, it’s something for committed, intense, romantic relationships. Making love is something that is worked up to. And it’s certainly not a norm in the range of experiences I crave. I love Making Love to partners, but it’s one of those things that builds in the moment every once in a while.. most of my encounters with partners I can Make Love to is just Sex.

This entry brought to you by the fact that I’m overdue for a good Fuck.