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Censored.

March 6, 2011

I haven’t been writing lately. It started as trying to spend my focus in the evening on my blog. It has turned into procrastinating because I feel like the things I really want to write about, I can’t. I am lost and have lost a bit of my confidence in my writing when I have voices in my head telling me that my subject matter or the direction of my discussion is inappropriate. So what do I do instead? I just don’t write. Which in itself is a bad thing. I’m feeling bottled up and quiet… a little meek and powerless. I’m spending my evening feeling sucky (about things that might not be appropriate to write about) and trying to think of ways to still write, be heard, be read and reclaim the power in my voice while still making responsible choices. I really don’t want this blog to lose it’s authentic voice. I really don’t want to abandon it for an anonymous side project. I really don’t like feeling censored. It took me two years to get my writing to a point where I was proud of it’s authenticity and the vulnerability I shared. That’s two years that I’m really struggling to hold on to right now…

I really miss you, my lovely pink blog/home,

❤ Evey

4 Comments leave one →
  1. Nicoli permalink
    March 6, 2011 8:54 pm

    We, meaning mostly I as I cant speak for anybody else, Miss you as well.

  2. Jey permalink
    March 6, 2011 11:12 pm

    I miss your writing. Don’t stress it too much.

  3. Bad permalink
    March 7, 2011 12:39 am

    Are there people reinforcing the feeling that you don’t have a right to express your thoughts?

    • voyeurondisplay permalink*
      March 7, 2011 9:39 am

      No no no… no one is trying to tell me I don’t have a right to express myself. But I do feel that I have an obligation as a responsible writer to make sure anyone else involved in a situation is okay with me writing about them. I’ve been written about in other people’s blogs in ways that I was not comfortable with. I try to be cognitive of that when it comes to my partners, friends, and anyone else who might turn up in my writing. I don’t ever write with intentions to negatively affect people, but apparently not everyone ready my writing with the most sincere intentions and there have been issues in the past. While I think the real issue is people not being adults and instead acting like petty gossip mongers… I can’t change their behavior. I can change mine to help those I love not be affected by them.

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