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July 12, 2009: I Like to Fuck!

January 3, 2011

Perhaps one of my favorite posts, this has always been one of “The Essentials”. Vocabulary can convey so much, whether you’re talking about identity and relationships or something less serious- like FUCKING.  (Original Post)


I know for a great many people, words like “fucking” and “sex” are interchangeable. I am not one of those people. In fact, for me, the difference between the two is similar to my generation’s view of the difference between “sex” and “making love”.

To Fuck.. I Fuck people I don’t know. I Fuck people I don’t know very well. I Fuck people I am involved with, but am not in any way committed to. Fucking is pure, raw, uncomplicated, and often times impersonal. When I Fuck it is rough and hard and painful (in the GOOD kind of way). Fucking is like getting pounded. Fast. Deep. God.. in the state of sexual frustration I’m currently experiencing, I’m not sure I should keep going haha. But I hope my point has been understood. For most instances, the first handful of interactions with me sexually WILL be Fucking. I’d like to quote Lady Gaga here: ” I won’t tell you that I love you, kiss or hug you, ’cause I’m bluffing”.

To have Sex.. This is a bit more personal. Not “oh my, I’m completely in love with you” shit. But still, much more connected than Fucking. I have sex with primary partners who I am serious about/committed to in some way or another. Sex is vulnerable, Sex is personal, Sex makes me forget sometimes that we’re two different people and that our bodies aren’t REALLY connected. Sex is where I let down my guards and submit to my partner rather that bottoming. Sex is when I can look you in the eyes while I’m cumming. The few partners who have made ME cum during penetration, THAT’s Sex. The few people I have been fluid bound to.. our first time after making that commitment- THAT was Sex. Sex for me isn’t always hard and fast. Sometimes it’s slow and, dare I say it, sensual. Sex is where there are those pauses in energy where things get so intense you have to kiss or pull them down onto your forehead or pull them down onto your chest.. mm.. Sex.

To Make Love.. This is the woo-woo stuff. I’ve made love to two partners in my life. It’s amazing stuff, but for me, and I’m presuming a vast majority of people, it’s something for committed, intense, romantic relationships. Making love is something that is worked up to. And it’s certainly not a norm in the range of experiences I crave. I love Making Love to partners, but it’s one of those things that builds in the moment every once in a while.. most of my encounters with partners I can Make Love to is just Sex.

This entry brought to you by the fact that I’m overdue for a good Fuck.


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