How am I polyamorous?

I have multiple relationships. They all serve a different purpose and fulfill different parts of my life. Perhaps the most important part, they all provide some sort of positive effect on my life.

I’m hoping taking a look at my different relationships helps paint a better picture of where I’m at in my life. I’ve been internally exploring the terms of my polyamory and what a full complete Evey looks like. What I’ve learned is that there is no “end goal”. Rather, my relationships need to enhance something…

Mr.Rawr- He is my primary relationship and only of my relationships in which submission and service is a standard. He has pushed me over to explore what submission and D/s relationships meant to me. He is my Mister and I’m his little slut. His dominance creates a stillness in me that I value beyond words. He has the power to ease my mind and break down my walls. Our relationship is non-consensual and I trust him beyond all others.

My Masochist- We first became involved over a year ago and had an extremely switchy relationship. When we reconnected a few months after I started seeing Mr. Rawr we had to redefine the terms of our dynamic. I wasn’t so sure that I wanted to just top him but as I’ve rediscovered my inner top, I miss his play-style. I miss how hard I can hit him and never illicit anything but a smile. Six months of figuring things out we’re almost to a point where we can comfortably settle back into our relationship. Until then, we’re taking things slow. We have dinner, we cuddle, we hold hands- but I do look forward to the day when we get all the details ironed out and we can move forward.

And then there are my amazing play partners (people I have scened with and have every intention of again)…

Hawke– We don’t go out as often, especially with everything I’ve been dealing with lately and him getting engaged and all. Over the last year we’ve had oodles of fire-y fun though! I’m not certain about the future of our play relationship but as a friend he is amazing. Once a month he takes me to lunch or coffee and it does wonders for the pampered little girl in me.

The Redheaded Slut- It’s new… and shiny. She makes pretty noises and lets me do deliciously deviant things to her. She lets me push her boundaries and I have plenty in mind for any future run-ins we might have.

The Triathelete– He’s strong.. REALLY strong. We have played casually and are working on a way to be in the right place/right time to start scening. Until then, it’s one of the most delicious teases…

Finally, there there are my relationships that seem  fall into that ambiguous grey zone…

My Partner in Crime- She is the girl who thought to bring me a hubcap. She is family. She fills me with desire that I’m not always certain what to do with. She is one of my best friends and confidant. She makes me want more. She’s in the grey zone because well.. I’m not so certain where our relationship is going to end up. There is abounding potential.. I just haven’t figured which direction everything is heading in.

Essin’em– She is my primadary partner. When in town, our dynamic generally invovles some sort of service. She validates me, and encourages me. She is one of the most beautiful people I’ve ever met and am blessed to have her in my life in all the many facets I have…

Bad– It’s new, and she’s amazing. She is so open and communicative. Her play style and relationship styles remind me a lot of myself. I love co-topping with her, and I love how much we giggle. She is quickly becoming an important person in my life. So why the grey zone? It’s still new. I’m not sure where things are going, where we want them to go.. etc. But I’m intoxicated and I want more of her.

There ya go, my relationships. At least a present. Sure, there are people who come in and out on a much more casual basis. And then of course my friends who are so close that they help define part of me as well. Every one of the people listed helps recharge me. They’re the reason I can come to any of the others with that big cheesy grin on my face that they all love. THAT is why I’m poly- I love seeing my partners happy. I love hearing their stories. I’ve learned that in monogamous relationships that after a while stagnation makes me bored. In poly relationships, there are other outlets for my boredom so that I can come back home to someone I love with a renewed perspective and the boredom ceases to exist, relationships can go on.