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Pretty, pretty bruises

June 8, 2010

I love the way bruises look. I’m absolutely fascinated. The disparity of blue and purple blotches on my porcelain white flesh. The amorphous shapes sprawled across my body. It is almost as if they are their own entity, a presence that cannot be controlled, dictated, or confined. The way the colors blend and dance across the skin. They speak of secrets divulged, their simple existence gives rise to the notion of how they were created. While the importance of brusing works on several levels for me, it mostly comes down to a matter of pride.

I have been told that I play hard. I have been told I’m a pain slut. I’ve been told by some that my heavier beatings with my Mr. Rawr scare people, that they cannot discern where to draw the line between my pleasure and actual abuse. To people who watch when I play in public it is not a question as to whether or not I am a masochist and not just one of those girls who dresses pretty at parties just to sit with the other wallflowers. But to those who don’t know, or aren’t watching closely, the physical affects on my body are entirely contrary. I don’t mark well at all. I haven’t really ever and this frustrates me. When people look at my ass after a caning, or my arms and legs after a beating, it isn’t impressive. I have watched women color in for less than I take on a regular basis and to be quite honest- it hurts my pride. I am proud of my masochism. I might not be a graceful submissive, a dutiful slave or even well behaved, but I can take thud like a champ. It’s what I bring to the plate in my play relationships, and to not be able to wear blue and purple badges of honor is tough.

On a deeper level, I have found myself more frustrated than ever before with my lack of coloration. Why? I want Him to mark me. I want it to be know that He was here. I am His little play slut. I want to SEE how he effects my body in the most physical sense. I want to be able to touch evidence of his control over me.
Is it physically possible for me to bruise, yes. Some of my most painfully cathartic scenes have gotten my body there. So this isn’t meant to be a challenge. Then again, I am always up for trying!

2 Comments leave one →
  1. Jey permalink
    June 13, 2010 10:56 pm

    Taken an asprin before play? It thins the blood and could help you bruise more easily.

  2. voyeurondisplay permalink*
    June 14, 2010 12:09 am

    I haven’t… it’s been suggested several times. Where I worry is taking medication unnecessarily because I’m somewhat holistic with my personal health. I know my lack of bruising is actually a really good sign for my health.. it’s a double edged sword… really is. Thanks for the suggestion though!

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