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A Moment…

May 24, 2010

I believe in moments. Moments have the power to change your life. Moments in fact HAVE changed my life. I’m talking about the moments that can open your eyes, create alternate paths, and influence/alter/completely shake you to your core. Moments can be so powerful that once they have passed there is no where to go but follow, to free-fall into fate.

I feel like I’ve reached one of those moments. In particular, that moment in a relationship where the fear of losing some sort of potential is gone. The moment you know you are loved- even if they haven’t said it. I’ve reached the moment where my walls have fallen down. The fear is gone, the anxiety is gone, instead all that is left is a overwhelming, overpowering love. The realization hit after noticing that all day that I haven’t hesitated even once to speak about how I felt, no matter who was around. It wasn’t some big event. In fact, I doubt anyone other than me even noticed. It was like a switch flipped and I could finally be comfortable; no longer stumbling around in the dark.

I warned him that I’m slow to warm. I warned him that I don’t let go easily and for me when I fall… I fall hard. When I let go, I need to know that there is going to be someone there to catch me. So I left go this weekend without telling… and lo and behold, he was there and he didn’t even know the difference because I suspect he had been the whole time.

One Comment leave one →
  1. May 25, 2010 9:50 am

    From the Book of Elli:

    “I lay my head upon her chest and snuggle deep between her breasts. Then I whistle for a taxi to take us to forever. “No” she says, “Just live in the moment.”

    “…I am in love with a celestial being and I want to seal the deal with eternity but my beloved Angel wants me to love only the moment because it is truly all we have, one moment of time. The future moments do not come with a guarantee. We are fluid bound and she leaves me a smile of seduction and a look of longing. One moment at a time to freeze and own.”

    I already told you how proud I was of the huge step you have taken and the personal growth you have undergone. Best of luck with your moments.

    ~clayton~

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