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I’m BACK!

February 8, 2010

Oh how I have missed you my pretty pink blog….!

Unfortunately, work has been kicking my ass as of late. I’ve taken on the task of managing their blog (found out I was a dedicated blogger and apparently that lead to an automatic promotion!) as well as trying to squeeze time in my 40 hour work week to do the design and artistic legwork for an entire site redesign (as well as the miscellaneous marketing artwork I do). It’s a lot of work and, unfortunately, only seems to be growing in complexity, but THAT is a story probably best left out of this post.

My absence has gotten me thinking. Where am I going with my blog? How much of my present relationships am I allowed to share, or better yet do I want to share? A year into my journey, I’m not so much exploring my kink though the same routes as I had been. What I am beginning to delve into more and more is service, polyamory, real relationships and the practical applications of not just DOING things in the scene, but rather how they add value and intimacy to a relationship. It’s new and much more personal growth of the mental variety. I’ve grown tired of writing about the new forms of play I’ve discovered. I want to write about the new feelings that play makes me feel.. I want to write about the new incarnation of the same old types of play I’ve been experiencing… I want to write about the more intimate side of my kinks.

I was talking with an old friend tonight and she was talking about some things that she has experienced as of late that really mirrored my life at present. My interest in kink isn’t so much about the masochism or the dominance itself anymore. I don’t crave going to the clubs for a chance that someone might be willing to hurt me for the night. I don’t find myself yearning to be thwacked as often and certainly not NEEDING that same intensity. The joy I have found as of late is the intermingling of the intense pain mixed with that passionate energy where if feels like someone is reaching down into me and touching my soul.. the beauty in the care and tenderness to not break me and then stepping back and resuming the painful intensity. The dance, the passion, the desire for more. Intimacy.

And the sex. There is so much I want to begin sharing about my sex, how I experience it, how I process and feel.. I want to be able to explain the difference I have experienced these past few months with Mr. Rawr compared to my casual sexual encounters in BDSM. I want to return to talking about my orgasms and their many recent incarnations…

This blog has been a work in progress for the last year. It has been my outlet for some of the feelings that I wasn’t able to express. It has been a tremendous resource for processing my experiences and analyzing my progress. With all the changes taking place in my personal life, I look forward to seeing how this site evolves along with me…

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