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Things Evey Hates: Floggers

January 4, 2010

I hate floggers.  I hate them.  There is no flogger or top wielding a flogger who can change my mind.  They’ve tried.  It didn’t work.  Floggers are stingy- ALL OF THEM.  They make me cold and they feel windy.  And it doesn’t bother me one bit to have disdain for something so conventional, I prefer my experiences to be of a more exceptional nature.

Floggers are on my list of limits. I have tried numerous times to enjoy a flogging, and it never quite seems to work.  I’ve been flogged by the closest of play partners only to result in either an unenjoyable scene or a complete release of emotions.  Flogging in general has always resulted in an act of submission.  Something I would agree to in order to have some sort of experience that someone was interested in giving me.  Something I can take in order to learn more about someone who DOES have a passion for flogging.  Someone who used to be a very close play partner would flog me on occasion, and it was never something that put me in any sort of space. I submitted to his desire to flog someone that night, there was never enjoyment from the actual flogging itself.  From the scene and the interaction? Yes.  At times, enjoyment of the emotional release I recieved from fighting the pain and giving in? Yes.  The last night we ever played (and I say this because I’m unsure if we ever WILL play again… stupid scheduling and priority conflicts) he flogged me and I could swear he was beating my heart and soul right out of me- it was a HUGE release.  I cried the entire time (granted there were some other very bad emotions there as well.. it was many months back when I was really dealing with a lot of self hatred, insecurity, and other ridiculous shit), three hits in and I was a goner.  It has been the emotion that every flogging I’ve had since has taken me to and I hate it. I hated it before that scene and I hate it even more since. Since then Vie has flogged me, when Mr.Rawr tried to show me just how thuddy his thuddiest flogger was.. doesn’t matter, I have cried (the bad kind of tears) with every other flogging I’ve taken.

There is only one exception to this- Hawke.  Hawke and I have a very hard time with any sort of impact play. It’s not really a part of our dynamic.  However, he is the only person who I would even consider allowing myself to be flogged by in an attempt to gain some sort of enjoyment (punishment is an entirely different thing).  He first flogged me in our preparations for the Sex Show 2009 and and we actually discovered a few things that I can handle with a good warm-up.  I was able to take a small flogging at the actual show.  Other than that, flogging is on the limits list….

Again, I’ll say it- I hate floggers! *Big Cheesy Grin*

Side note: This doesn’t mean I hate every flogging scene I’ve done, or every Top who has flogged me.. simply that the damn implements themselves make me go Grr.

One Comment leave one →
  1. January 4, 2010 9:47 pm

    And that is TOTALLY ok. Good for you for knowing yourself, and speaking up regarding your limits. I know that while I like hit people with canes (A LOT), I have never ever ever enjoyed being hit by a cane.

    I’m proud of you and can’t wait to see you (although I may not crash weds, as I have an early drs visit Thursday. Are you going to the Enclave that weekend, and if so, can I stay over that night?)

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