I like to FUCK.
I know for a great many people, words like “fucking” and “sex” are interchangeable. I am not one of those people. In fact, for me, the difference between the two is similar to my generation’s view of the difference between “sex” and “making love”.
To Fuck.. I Fuck people I don’t know. I Fuck people I don’t know very well. I Fuck people I am involved with, but am not in any way committed to. Fucking is pure, raw, uncomplicated, and impersonal. When I Fuck it is rough and hard and painful (in the GOOD kind of way). I like getting pounded. Fast. Deep. God.. in the state of sexual frustration I’m currently experiencing, I’m not sure I should keep going haha. But I hope my point has been understood. For most instances, the first handful of interactions with me sexually WILL be Fucking. I’d like to quote Lady Gaga here: ” I won’t tell you that I love you, kiss or hug you, ’cause I’m bluffing”.
To have Sex.. This is a bit more personal. Not “oh my, I’m completely in love with you” shit. But still, much more connected than Fucking. I have sex with primary partners who I am serious about/committed to in some way or another. Sex is vulnerable, Sex is personal, Sex makes me forget sometimes that we’re two different people and that our bodies aren’t REALLY connected. Sex is where I let down my guards and submit to my partner rather that bottoming. The two times in my life my partner has made ME cum during penetration, THAT’s Sex. The last person I was fluid bound to.. our first time (mm… in the shower) after making that commitment- THAT was Sex. Up until my last week in LA, my encounters with Evan were Sex at the least (after that everything was just Fucking…). Sex for me isn’t always hard and fast. Sometimes it’s slow and, dare I say it, sensual. Sex is where there are those pauses in energy where things get so intense you have to kiss or pull them down onto your forehead or pull them down onto your chest.. mm.. Sex.
To Make Love.. This is the woo-woo stuff. I’ve made love to ONE man in my life. It’s amazing stuff, but for me, and I’m presuming a vast majority of people, it’s something for committed, intense, romantic relationships. Making love is something that is worked up to. And it’s certainly not a norm in the range of experiences I crave. I love Making Love to partners, but it’s one of those things that builds in the moment every once in a while.. most of my encounters with partners I can Make Love to is just Sex.
This entry brought to you by the fact that I’m overdue for a good Fuck.