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Pleasure to meet you, I’m Evey.

May 10, 2009

This certainly wasn’t the first of the oodles of posts I’m working on that I wanted to finish. I suppose in terms of timing, I best get it up just so I don’t have to personally answer questions anymore.

There are several versions of me. Some I hope no one will ever see again- in fact only a few still left in my life have met those Caits. They were the sad hurt versions of me from Los Angeles. Then there are the parts of me I would love to find again, the ones that got lost somewhere in Los Angeles; the parts of me I’d love to introduce to Vie, Essin’em, and my few vanilla friends here in Denver. They’d find her immensely entertaining and fantastic for sure. I’m hoping with all the work and personal growth I’ve been focusing on that I can find her again. They really would love her. Two of my personas made their way to Denver with me two years ago, although one I’m pretty sure hid in my suitcase and just crawled out a few months ago.

There’s Vanilla Cait. She’s a tomboy and a snarky bitch. She doesn’t take the time to do her make up and she doesn’t try to look pretty. She sounds a little different. Not so bubbly.. a little like a southern California surfer/pot head I think. She is messy and self-conscious and lazy and stubborn. She is smart and witty and not quite what people expect out of a tiny quiet woman. She’s the one who’s been handed the responsibility of sorting out the mess of emotions left over from Los Angeles, so half the time she’s pretty quiet and introverted. She is the one with the big walls that people can’t get past. She’s my Self who I am a bit ashamed of, but anyone who is going to even think about loving me needs to know her.

Then there is the Cait that everyone in the scene has met. The cute little girl with an aim to please. Bubbly, giggly (ya vanilla cait doesn’t giggle), and completely insatiable. I don’t think I need to go on explaining this one because everyone who knows her has their own opinions and quite frankly knows her.

So there you go, 2 Caits.

I always knew I wanted a scene name. I was waiting ’til one found me. I was also waiting til I found out who I was in the scene. It’s very hard keeping the two Caits separate and my name holds so much meaning, I felt it was inappropriate having people who most likely will only know one side of me using it. So with that I say…

HI! Nice to meet you, I’m Evey hehe.

So why Evey? Well it’s all kind of personal, so let me start from the beginning.

One afternoon I’d been talking to someone and they’d told me how much they were learning from me and I was very taken back. I see myself as the newbie in the scene, so to have someone tell me that I’d made an influence on them I was shocked. Of course, I told Vie about it and he was perplexed about how I could think I don’t make an impression on people. I think he even asked me if I felt the same was true about him. Of course not! He is my best friend, I expect us to have the type of bond where we help each other grow and learn from one another. But other people? People I don’t know very well.. to hear they’d learned something from the things I write in here, I was boggled. He told me something to the effect that he sees me as a Breeze. The wind is powerful and strong, this invisible force that people often don’t notice but that influences the entire world. Silently pushing forces and energy to create connections and reactions among the other elements. But I’m little.. so not quite the wind, more like a breeze! To have someone who knows me so well say something so beautiful about me, it meant a lot.

Next part off the story (I swear I will tie this all together soon.. just keep with me here): I’d been unconsciously identifying as a bird a lot. Mainly due to my protectiveness of Vie as well as a few girls I’m close to. I also have this uncanny ability of knowing what’s going on with things at all times.. people come to me because of this or maybe it’s the other way around, but regardless.. I’ve often said I feel like a Mamma bird protecting all my little chickies. Birds also represent the soul, freedom, communication and nurturing.

So I wanted to use the idea of the breeze in my scene name. It isn’t necessarily something I see as part of myself, but the fact that my best friend sees it in me, makes me want to identify with this part of my self more. I want to be more of that person. Then that lead me to realizing the connection to birds: birds fly… along with the breeze. The two are kind of a natural pairing. I began looking though name dictionaries and the name Ava which often means either “bird” or “beautiful bird”… but I am most definitely not an Ava. Evelyn is a diminuitive of Ava, but still it sounded a bit too mature for my persona in the scene… so I shortened it down again to Evey.

So there ya go.. again I say, “Pleasure to meet you, I’m Evey!”

One Comment leave one →
  1. May 11, 2009 9:41 am

    Interesting. Firstly, as a random side note, I used to have a male cat named Ava. There is also a really nerdy, WoW playing porn star named Ava Rose. And there is a book by Tamora Pierce in which the main character has rock/stone magic, but doesn’t know it, and is living on the streets named Evey.

    I will do my best to try and call you that (although every time I see it written, I wanted to copy-edit it to Every.). It will take time (as I’m sure it will for many people), but I may be better at it than most, having had so many friends transition into their correct gender.

    But I will tell you that while I understand the impetus behind this, I really hate scene names in general. I believe we’ve spoken on this before, but I thought I’d mention it again. *grumbles* But for you, I’ll do my best.

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