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When It Rains, It Pours

March 30, 2009

This weekend I have been able to do a lot of thinking. I feel like a great many things have been going on in my life, and they are all beginning to look like they might fall into place. This is going to be another one of those thoughtfully insightful posts about my emotions… I know. I’m like a one trick pony lately. haha.

Literally, my entire week rocked. Single-tails, cuddles, recharging, snow days, electroplay, surprise visit from a pretty girl, mid-morning hug visits, interrogation demos, pixie sticks, scratches, bites, tongues, Fred, and an afternoon filled with Hulu in my bed! Next week looks just as awesome: friday night thing, cleaning and dress up, kinkster bunny, saturday night play party (with a potential visitor!) and hopefully much more last minute plans hehe.

All this awesomeness has led me to a lot of thinking. A LOT. I’ve spent much of the last two months (::insert several snarky comments here::) thinking about what it is that I want in terms of relationships and the scene in general. I think I’ve explained a great deal on here. Essentially I don’t like monogamy. I think it is entirely possible to have “casually open long term relationships”. I am and have been involved in one version of such a relationship for about 2 months now. Disclaimer: Now, just because I classify this as a relationship please don’t go getting the wrong idea. There are many different types of relationships.. i am not going to categorize where this one falls in the spectrum. That is no one’s business but mine. Through this particular relationship I have been able to adjust to the idea of casual, open, and honest though dealing with my own emotions regarding my partner being involved in similar relationships. It has been an important lesson.. if i want casual and open I need to be okay with any potential partner having the same. For a while I was very comfortable in where I was from the standpoint that I wasn’t ready to go looking for more.. one relationship was plenty! I think it was taking a lot of energy just dealing with a new situation and focusing on proper reactions and realizations necessary to transition from the idea of monogamous-vanilla relationships (or several fuck buddies who never meet) to something open, honest, casual so much to the point where I knew all my partner’s other partners.

Now, I am at the point where I am comfortable. I know where I stand in my present “relationship” and it doesn’t take as much thought or effort in being okay. With his help, I have reached the point where maybe it’s time to start moving forward- exploring the second part of open honest relationships.. the me having more part haha. It’s going to be another really big project emotionally haha… and the fact that I kind of have a few people I am crushing on at the moment makes it all so real. It had just been a goal.. a plan.. and now I feel like it’s at least closer to reality. I will have to sooner or later figure out how to add something new to what I already have. I figure taking it slow and steady is the best approach. I’ve been thinking back a lot lately to how I started things with my present situation. It turned out incredibly successfully if I do say so myself (and I’m fairly certain he would agree.. for what it is.. it’s GREAT haha) so I don’t think using it as a model for future endeavors isn’t the worst idea in the world…

*eeep* I have this strange mix of excitement and fear of the unknown haha. The idea of having something already and essentially being okay with looking for more is such a different (but good) concept for me. I have a few things going on this week.. we shall see how it all goes.

One Comment leave one →
  1. March 31, 2009 4:34 am

    Open relationship and non-monogamy is tricky, but when you can make it work, it’s wonderful. I have a few books you’re welcome to borrow on open relationships if you’d like. Number one thing is communication, which is seems like you’ve got on lock down.

    Can’t wait till Saturday 🙂 Should be fun!

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